The art of listening is easy. It involves putting your own thoughts aside, and letting the words of another enter your thinking. OK, maybe that can be tough to accomplish, but it's certainly simple. New information shared affords the listener an opportunity to make choices: think, respond, question, or just continue listening.
As a coach I paraphrase continually. It's my default, and it's an effective way to show a speaker I'm listening. I'm finding that I'm beginning to paraphrase students. Their response shows a deepening of their own thinking. It's as though their words fly out of their mouths, entirely unfiltered, and when they hear them spoken back, that's their opportunity to evaluate their thinking. Do we do that as adults? Fling our words into unsuspecting ears, and watch for reactions? How can we tell whether reactions have anything to do with what we said? Paraphrasing from the listener shows that, regardless of my response, this is what I heard you say. It seems to validate the speaker's words, or give him or her an opportunity to change the statement.
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